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The Negative Side of Body Positivity

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You’re probably reading this because you saw my video somewhere on the internet and wanted to dive deeper into what I was talking about, welcome :).
I want to make something VERY clear. This video is not to say the body positivity movement should not exist – it SHOULD. We need all the help we can get to reverse the ‘fatphobic' society we exist amongst.
My points in this video are to educate on the consumption of the movement, not to discount it altogether.
I fully support the INTENTION – but I can’t ignore the hundreds of people in my community who feel pressure from the movement.
“After 23 years of hating my body and using food as a drug – this movement makes me feel weak for having no idea how to love my body – it made it worse” Tricia Paulson
We need to educate on how we can fundamentally love our bodies after years of hating them, it’s not about being positive – it’s about true transformation from the inside out.
Perhaps you’re coming over here all guns blazing or maybe you completely agree with me.
Either way, thank you for being here. Opening up this conversation is what is going to shift the broken structures we currently live under. We need to destroy so we can re-create.
I know deep down, whether we agree or not – we ultimately want the same thing.
Within our bodies and throughout the world.
My intention for this article is to go step by step through the points I raise in the video  and explain myself in more detail – my intention is to give you a new perspective then for YOU to choose what YOU want.
This is about personal power and choice – when we take back our power from influencers, corporations and movements – we create the space to tune in and ask ourselves what is true and in pure alignment with our souls. That is where the magic is.
“It’s ok to hate your body”
This might have thrown you off a little and perhaps confused the heck out of you. What we need to understand here is we need to be real with where we are at, if you hate your body then no amount of positivity will bring you to a place of loving it.
We can’t put positivity over pain.
When we are REAL with where we are at, and we fully accept and love the part of us that hates our body, we then gain traction. When we have traction we can then do the work to move into a place of love. Positive thinking without traction will keep us in denial.
I work with hundreds of women who feel incredibly shameful they don’t love their bodies – they feel pressure from the body positive movement because although they are told to love their bodies, they have no idea now. They feel stuck.
“I followed body positivity for years – they made it look easy to love a larger body without telling me how – this made me feel even more like a failure”  – Karen Price
“We are keeping people overweight, overwhelmed, sick and at risk for diabetes”
This does not include everyone, of course. There are a lot of people who are heavier and completely healthy – again this is about the individual not the whole.
I know this isn’t the intention – I am very clear of that. Again, this is NOT an attack on the body positivity movement as a whole. Essentially, by spreading this message we are giving people permission slips to be complacent and to not explore what might be keeping them overweight and overwhelmed. On the flip side of this, if a woman is in a body and she is healthy and happy – I celebrate that. This is about personal ownership. It’s time we all take responsibility for our own health and happiness, however that looks.
“We have a broken model of what love actually is”
What is self love? What does it feel like on a visceral level? It’s not about repeating affirmations in the mirror and hoping one day it comes true. Love is about including ALL parts of us, the parts of us we don’t want to admit – it’s about owning the darkness, the ugly and everything in between. It’s about loving the part of you that wants to run, wants to hide, wants to overeat. It’s not about jumping on the bandwagon because it’s popular – self love is a constant journey and process. It’s a lifelong journey we get to embark on should we choose it. Love isn’t about shining the exterior, it’s about loving the messy, flawed and dirty, which exists within us all. We get to celebrate all of it.
“It’s ok to be fat, as long as you’re happy being fat”
Our society makes it very difficult for people who are judged as ‘fat’ to exist on this planet. We live in an extremely fatophobic culture, which is terrible yet true. There is so much stigma and prejudice about this. My point here is again about individualism and treating this on a case-by-case scenario rather than assuming those who are fat are miserable and unhealthy. If someone is in a body that appears to be ‘heavier’ and they are genuinely happy and at peace they should not be treated any differently. Weight is incredibly diverse, compassion shouldn't be.
This is about choice, personal power and ownership. This is about being honest with yourself and what you TRULY want. Again, putting positivity over pain will not allow the true inner healing to take place. Those who would be labelled as ‘fat’ can be incredibly healthy – body size and health are not always linked.
If you truly feel unhealthy in your body and know, deep in your soul you want to feel more alive and vibrant, don’t use body positive as a way to stay stuck if that’s not actually what you desire.
“Why does the body positivity movement not include men, skinny people or disabled”
The amount of support for body positivity for men, skinny people and disabled people pales in comparison to the amount of support it offers for beautiful, heavier set women. We have thousands of people in our Hungry For Happiness community who struggle with skinny shaming. They struggle with society assuming they have an eating disorder because they have a smaller framed body. Men and those with physical alignments are also excluded from this movement despite the fact that also suffer with body image issues.
“All of the photos are still highly photo shopped and filtered”
It amazes me to see incredibly beautiful women on Instagram who are spreading body positivity yet they still are photoshopping the photos, this simply doesn’t make sense to me. I love beauty, I love beautiful photos – but when can we see more REAL photos. The pimples, breakouts, messy hair, no makeup kind of shots. We are starving for realism.
“Stop being dependent on the weight loss industry and the body positive movement to decide what you want”
On one hand we are told we are too fat, on the next hand we are told we are fine the way we are. We are all stuck in the middle confused and feeling untethered, unsure of what we want. This is where YOU come in. Take some time and shut down the world for a bit.  The only way we can truly hear ourselves is to remove the noise.  
Weight diversity is broad, it’s broad and yet we are all expected to fit into this unreasonable mould of what is ‘acceptable’. What this whole conversation comes down to is PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY – we need to stop putting our power in other people's opinions and we need to start taking full ownership over our health, happiness and free will – no matter what size we are.
Ps – If you're ready to take the next step and finally end your battle with food, you're ready for the Society. Click here to apply.

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